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Panel Questions

BILL KURTIS: From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME, the NPR news quiz. I'm Bill Kurtis. We're playing this week with Hari Kondabolu, Peter Grosz and Amy Dickinson. And here again is your host at the Chase Bank Auditorium in downtown Chicago, Peter Sagal.


Thank you, Bill.


SAGAL: In just a minute, Captain Bill's violating the rhyme directive in our Listener Limerick Challenge. If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Right now, panel, some more questions for you from the week's news. Amy, a new study finds that if you're lonely, the cause may not be that you're single. It could be that you're just what?




PETER GROSZ: Said with wisdom, sadness and experience.


DICKINSON: Depressed, Peter.



SAGAL: Not that.


SAGAL: It's not that obvious. I'll give you a hint. I was so lonely before I met blankie.




SAGAL: Cold.


SAGAL: So if you're feeling lonely, put away that cold pint of ice cream and pick up a hot pint of pizza.

DICKINSON: That is so stupid.

GROSZ: That's...

SAGAL: Well...


SAGAL: ...Apparently there's a correlation...

DICKINSON: That's so stupid.

SAGAL: ...Between feeling isolated and feeling physically cold. Changes in temperature affect our sense of community. So if you're feeling lonely, skip the soul-shattering process of dating. Don't settle for a garbage person. Just move to Phoenix.


HARI KONDABOLU: That is such bull.

DICKINSON: It's so stupid.

KONDABOLU: I have been lonely in so many climates.


KONDABOLU: That is absolutely - you're telling me it's body heat?

SAGAL: I'm telling - well...

KONDABOLU: Like the fact that...

SAGAL: ...There's no particular - I don't know if, like, body heat is why you want other people. But there's a psychological correlation.

DICKINSON: I feel like they're just promoting more nude cooking.


GROSZ: I love when studies come up, and people yell at you like they're - you - it's all your...

SAGAL: Your fault.

GROSZ: ...Idea.

DICKINSON: Like you did it.

SAGAL: I know it's like...

GROSZ: Peter. No.

SAGAL: ...I came up with it.

GROSZ: That's not possible. No.


DICKINSON: (Laughter).

SAGAL: Hari, some good news for aspiring writers in Hollywood - more and more people in the film industry are hiring people to write what?

KONDABOLU: Depositions?



KONDABOLU: Screenplays?

SAGAL: No. I'll give you a hint. One of the big problems they solve is, do you thank your agent before or after you thank God?

KONDABOLU: Their awards speeches.

SAGAL: Yes. Their acceptance...


SAGAL: ...Speeches.


SAGAL: Brad Pitt is just one of the many stars who has hired a writer for his acceptance speeches. This seems bad, but on the other hand, it's basically the only way a person of color could get to write an Oscar speech this year.


KONDABOLU: Shut up. He's right.


GROSZ: Is it like ghostwriting a book? Like, you just share everything, and then they make your nonsense thoughts, like, cogent?

SAGAL: Presumably, yeah, that would be how it works.

GROSZ: You think...

SAGAL: I mean, I think - it's a bad idea when the guy doesn't know you. Because, like, for example, one of Brad Pitt's speeches began, I haven't seen "Once Upon a Time in Hollywood," but I understand it's quite good.


SAGAL: And then...

GROSZ: Or if it's old.

SAGAL: ...Last year, he just completely plagiarized Michelle Obama's acceptance speech.


SAGAL: Amy, after a guide was published online last week, Americans hotly debated the correct way to do what?

DICKINSON: A guide. What room does this activity take place?

SAGAL: It takes place in the bedroom, Amy.

DICKINSON: What happens in the bedroom?


SAGAL: Just the most obvious thing that happens...


SAGAL: ...In the bed.


SAGAL: That's...


SAGAL: Even...

GROSZ: Sexing?

DICKINSON: Sleeping. Sleeping.

SAGAL: Sleeping, yes.


DICKINSON: Sexing...


GROSZ: We're going to talk about sleeping, and then we're going to double back and talk about whatever sexing is.


SAGAL: Last week, somebody posted an online guide to sleeping position, showing the 18 possibilities. There are 18 possibilities - from back to side, to what could best be described as a kind of face-down ostrich.

GROSZ: This sounds like the most boring Kama Sutra book in the world.


SAGAL: It really does. Experts say that most adults sleep in the fetal position - on the side with the knees tucked. However, most adults in relationships sleep in the "I can't feel my arms" position.


GROSZ: That's true. You do - I do - I find, every single night that I go to sleep one way, and I wake up in another position. And I'm like, how did I get here?


GROSZ: Like I've been transported to some, like, different - magical island.

SAGAL: Is it a different house?


GROSZ: Sometimes, it is. I do - I fall asleep on my back. I put my pillow - this is very interesting to everybody. I put my pillows, like, around my - I surround my head with pillows. And I just, like, doze off very well, and then I wake up like a murder scene - like, I'm all over the place.


GROSZ: I must do some insane stuff in my sleep.



GROSZ: Including snoring, which I - my wife tells me, like, every night, you snore - I come in and I have to push you out of the position of being on your back. Because when you're on your back, that's, like, prime snoring position. But I find it very relaxing to fall asleep that way. And she always falls asleep after me, so she'll walk in - apparently, every night this happens - and is like, hey, you're snoring, and, like, hits me to move me. So actually, I do know how I move.


GROSZ: I just figured it out.

SAGAL: So you sleep on your side but not voluntarily.


DICKINSON: You've just figured this out.

GROSZ: I just figured it out.

(SOUNDBITE OF DAVID SCOTT'S "ROCK A BYE BABY") Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.