Last weekend, the Grethey family gathered at Carle Cancer Institute Normal, as they have for 20 years on a Sunday before Christmas.
Three generations of Gretheys placed dozens of handmade blankets in the chemotherapy and radiation treatment areas — part of an annual tradition they call Covers of the Heart.
The family’s patriarch, Ted Grethey, received treatment for CNS lymphoma at the center for seven months prior to his death on Aug. 3, 2003 — a Sunday.
Ted’s children, Victor Grethey and Lea Anna Whinna, of Mackinaw, and Andrea Campbell, of St. Louis, began making the fleece blankets with their mother, Wilma. The family started Covers of the Heart as a way to grieve their loved one and give back to the center.
“Our dad’s biggest complaint of having to do chemo treatment is that he was cold,” said Victor Grethey. “The blankets were an idea we came up with that we’ve done for 20 years now.”
Wilma Grethey died in 2020. Now, the youngest members of the family — Ted and Wilma’s great-grandchildren — are learning how to tie blankets and place them carefully on each chair for patients to find.
The family leaves behind a printed letter with each blanket.
“Please accept the blanket as a gift,” it reads, “a gift of hope and comfort from Ted’s family to you and yours. Wrap yourself in it and let its warmth comfort you in times of need and know you’re not alone.”
“I just hope that they get comfort when they come here,” said Whinna. “We were here in their place, and I think they can see that in the letter.”
Andrea Campbell said that coming to the center each year is bittersweet.
“We wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for him, but we’re here because of him,” she said. “He was such a caring person, and he would be here. If it was someone else in our family, my dad would be doing this.”
Center director Joe Prosser said the tradition makes patients feel special while undergoing difficult treatments. He has worked at the center for nearly a decade, and said providing a complete circle of care, including surgical intervention and counseling services at a central, convenient location outside the hospital, reduces stress for patients and their loved ones.
“It’s part of that family atmosphere that we really try to deliver on a daily basis,” Prosser said.
Registered nurse Sabrina Petersen cared for Ted Grethey and still works at Carle Cancer Institute Normal.
“Ted loved Christmas and he loved family,” she said. “For them, it was important for that love to be extended.”
The Grethey family welcomed Petersen as an honorary family member, inviting her to Ted’s 62nd birthday party in the months before his death.
“I went to his house, even, and celebrated his birthday with them,” she said.
With all the people she meets and cares for, how does Petersen make each person and family feel so special?
“You have to look at each person that you treat, get to know that person and understand what’s important to them. Because they’ve been given a diagnosis that is profound,” she said. “You want to make whatever time they have the best.”
In the final months of Ted’s life, everyone made the best of it. There were trips to Hawaii and Alaska with his family. Ted drove through a volcano. He saw waterfalls. But it’s the simplest moments that the Grethey family remembers most fondly.
His son, Victor, said it was spending time with his dad on the job, or working on projects at home. While in high school, Victor worked for his father's business, Twin City Monument Co. Now, Victor owns a contracting business and Ted worked for Victor in the years before his death.
“He was my best employee,” said Victor. “We did everything together.”
For Lea Anna Whinna, it’s her dad’s hugs that she misses the most.
“What a hugger. I mean a total, full body hug,” she said. “I miss those.”
Paige Scanlon was 14 when her grandfather died. Now, she makes the 3 1/2-hour trip north from Union, Missouri each year with her young children. She sees Covers of the Heart as a way to honor her grandpa’s memory.
“My grandfather was an extraordinary man,” she said. “He was kind, giving, and loving. It’s important for us to continue his legacy of compassion. We’re so thankful that they allow us to come back year after year to give back to the place that showed us so much love.”
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