Champaign-based singer-songwriter John Aulabaugh returned to his home area from Colorado over a decade ago for a better quality of life, which included a return to music. But the now 60-year-old joked that God doesn't want him to make music after numerous health issues since his return.
But Aulabaugh also said writing songs for his new album "Sweet as You" epitomized his persistence and resilience trying to make music.
“I had suffered with really bad back problems and I had my back rebuilt last year … you know … the rods up both sides of it. If I could have picked a year to be out for a year, I think 2020 probably would have been my choice because nobody else was doing anything anyway. So I think perseverance, and recording music during the whole process really was therapeutic for me,” said Aulabaugh, who added he has stage-3 osteoarthritis in my hands and that after back surgery, he fell down a flight of steps and the CT scan from that discovered a 3.5cm benign tumor in his throat.
Musically, “Sweet as You” sounds like the cross pollination of Neil Young, Radiohead, and Wilco he touts of himself on his website. Lyrically the album is dark, as he is obviously working through some emotional and physical pain.
“You’ve got to say that it was a dark year, last year,” said Aulabaugh of the pandemic. “So that kind of was born of that.”
The album opens with “Sanity.”
In my life
I've abandoned my friends
I've crossed the lines
I thought I'd never bend
- “Sanity” by John Aulabaugh
From what I've been through, and all the pain … I was quite a temperamental lad in my 50s,” confessed Aulabaugh. “So, I feel like I gave up on people when I probably should have given them given them more of a chance.”
That same vibe seems to segue in the song “A Reason.”
I want to stare at the sun
I want to run with rusty scissors and a loaded gun
I'm gonna have my fun
I can't hide my inner demons from anyone.
- “A Reason” by John Aulabaugh
“I have twins, who are now turning 25 next week,” said Aulabaugh. “During college at the U of I one of them was in the busiest semester ever and just had this collapse. Like ‘what is it all about - electrons and chemistry?’ it gets to the point where you try to decide: you can either go one way where you're running with rusty scissors and taking a toaster to the bathtub, or you can say we're just going to go with the flow,” said Aulabaugh of the conversations he was having with his child.
Musically, Aulabaugh feels “Sweet as You” is some of the best recording work he has done. He said 10 years ago when he leapfrogged back into music, he worked with some bigger names in the music business, including producer Rami Jaffee of Foo Fighters fame. He speaks fondly of recording in Jaffee’s L.A. studio, but also felt pressure to sound professional quality all the time.
“That got tiring,” said Aulabaugh. “I just wanted to write something that was genuine in how I sound. And I think … you know … the honesty and the clarity of it. It all breaks down into something basic. That feels good.”
Two other songs seem somewhat connected thematically: “Try Love” and “Childhood’s End.” The former almost sounds like a guy who was always afraid to talk to the cool girl, but he finally decides he is going to do it.
See the hurt won't be long for the ones who stay strong
You're worthy of making a stand
There's a girl over there so consider a dare...
You just have to hold out your hand
- “Try Love” by John Aulabaugh
“I think you're in the ballpark,” said Aulabaugh. “It was more of a kind of a message to my kids. You just got to get out there and make it happen for yourself.”
And what is the grizzled veteran telling those 25-year-olds?
“Well, we always made them work studiously. They went to really good high schools and got into the U of I in the engineering department. But it seemed like everything was consumed with satisfying that achievement. And they didn't take time to find love. And that's what I was just trying to say, ‘you know, you're using up the best years of your life to fall in love.’ And I just wanted that to happen for them,” said Aulabaugh.
He said "Childhood’s End" is more about identity.
"The awareness of who you identify as … the pronouns and all of this and it's a pretty big thing," said Aulabaugh, adding he found out last Thanksgiving that one of his twin boys is actually his daughter.
“I couldn't love her more for it,” said Aulabaugh, who added he wasn’t surprised how he reacted as a 60-year-old.
“Because I kind of know the process. I wouldn't call it a grieving process. It's a pseudo-grieving process, but I've studied grieving a lot,” said Aulabaugh. “When I was 15, my second oldest brother died at age 21. And my other one was supposed to be my best man. And he died at 28. So, I'm the sad sack that has been through so much. You know, sometimes I just wanted not let that out so that I would not have to confront it. But I think just like my music, I just had to face it and tell people who I am.
John Aulabaugh plays uptown Normal's LoungeAbout the Roundabout Saturday night at 6 p.m.
His new album "Sweet on You" is available on his Bandcamp page and will be officially released on July 1.
