Bloomington native Marissa Hagler started a podcast in her bedroom in 2021 because she needed an outlet to talk about all the changes in her life. She was about to head to college, looking for a new therapist and wanted someone to talk to about the complex emotions she was having.
So, she started having conversations — with friends, with herself — and recorded them. She bought a cheap microphone off Amazon, figured out basic audio editing, and Hurdles Through Hard Times: A Mental Health Resource was born.
“I had so much anxiety growing up, especially throughout middle school and high school, and I realized that, like, I cannot be alone,” she said. “I cannot be the only one feeling like this, or shut down in the middle of class, or I’ll shut down when I’m hanging out with my friends in a social setting.”
In that way, Hagler said the podcast was an attempt to reach others who could relate.
“When I started to get responses that they were feeling the same way as me and that other people related to this, that's when I started to realize, like, this could be something big,” she said.
Three years later, Hurdles Through Hard Times (HTHT) has gotten multiple grants and is the top Illinois mental health podcast — according to podcast database creator FeedSpot — and Hagler herself has been recognized by the Harvard Women in Entrepreneurship student organization as a Leading Female Entrepreneur.
While the title signifies Hagler’s role as an athlete and hurdler, few episodes tackle sports. Hagler admitted the name was a placeholder, and she didn’t always expect it to stick. Now, it’s a staple of the show.
“I kind of think of it as like I'm hurtling through physical and mental barriers every day,” Hagler said. “And so that's why in each of my episodes, I say hurtling through blank — hurtling through, you know, mental health, breakups, friendships, whatever that may be. I think of it as a way of like, we're pushing through this, we're pushing through whatever the topic is.”
Despite doubts about finding an audience or changing the name, Hagler said she’s found her groove. She’s got hundreds of monthly listeners and over 120 episodes and counting. A new episode drops each Friday.
HTHT is also a full-fledged brand, with sweatshirts, key chains and other merchandise that advertise the podcast and its message. Hagler said she decided to start making these products because they are “physical reminders” she can see and touch to help her get through the day. Hagler has pop-ups around town and stations at events, advertising her podcast and selling her brand.
Her younger sister Sienna Hagler said she often sees people flaunting HTHT gear. When she worked at the Kroger on College Avenue, she said she saw someone wearing a shirt or sweatshirt from the store every day.
“There was, like, a million just random photos where I'm helping a customer, and I was like, ‘Hold on,’ grabbed my phone, (took) a picture and then sent it to (Marissa),” she said. “It’s amazing to just see it out there.”
Sienna said she waits with bated breath every Friday for the next hurdle. She said episodes where Marissa is “hurdling through” specific tasks — procrastination, boredom, Sunday scaries — are particularly encouraging.
“If I know she can do it, then I'm like, ‘Oh, I can do it too,’” Sienna said.
She pointed out that her sister’s podcast isn’t like others, which can get bogged down with facts and information. Marissa keeps the tone light and conversational and selects topics based on her experiences.
“I'll have people ask me about certain topics and things, and I have to say like, ‘I mentally and physically can't deal with making an episode about that, or talking about that yet,’” she said. “And so once I think that I'm ready to talk about it, that's when I bring it on.”
Hagler’s podcast is deeply personal. Several episodes feature Hagler’s partner D, and Hagler said it took some time before she felt secure enough in their relationship to broadcast it so publicly, but she recognizes the need to have nuance in conversations. Hagler doesn’t want episodes to always be her talking into the void and she doesn’t shy away from tough subjects. She’s even had her own therapist on the show to talk about the pros and cons of that type of mental health service.
When the podcast started in 2021, Hagler was 18 and she assumed her audience would be people her age and slightly younger. Now, at 21, Hagler said the show has evolved.
“I'm reaching out to those young adults and those teenagers, but also people in their early 20s and early 30s,” she said. “I didn't think that it would grow to what it is.”
John Quarton, who directs the Petrick Idea Center at Illinois Wesleyan and has helped Hagler throughout the process of building HTHT, said he knew from the start it would have a wider reach, because he was listening to it. He’s more of a periodic listener, but he said he imagines plenty of people with “gray hair” like him find it interesting.
“I got constant ideas — and insights is a better word — for what was in the mind of a college student at Illinois Wesleyan, and what are the struggles that they were dealing with,” he said. “And put me much more in tune.”
As the podcast has gotten bigger, Quarton said it hasn’t gone to Hagler’s head. When it comes to advertising her successes — including grants, honors and increased listeners — she’s been humble.
“She wasn't one who pounded her chest and said, ‘Look at me,’” Quarton said.
Hagler said she her gratification comes from those who listen to the podcast, and she feels most fulfilled when people feel comfortable confiding in her because they’ve listened to episodes of her doing the same.
“I love doing this as something on the side that is both therapeutic for me, but also knowing that I'm helping others, like, why not do whatever I can to make a difference in someone else's life?” Hagler said.
She’s about to hurdle through senior year at IWU, and hopefully a teaching job afterward, but Hagler said she intends to keep hurdling through hard times for a long while.
