The holidays are filled with magical gift-giving, cheerful family get-togethers and festive parties. But not everyone feels the joy of the season.
For some people, the holiday season can be anxiety-inducing, the gifts are too expensive, and the parties involve can strain family relationships.
According to Amy Hopper, behavioral health program manager for the McLean County Health Department, one of the biggest stressors of the season can be summed up in one word: pressure.
“…To have the perfect get-together, there’s the thinking that we should be having fun all the time, and going, going, going, and that’s just not the reality,” she said.
The pressure to have a fun and exciting holiday isn’t realistic for a lot of people, leading to disappointment at the outcome that didn’t go according to plan, said Hopper.
Perhaps the biggest pressure and stress-inducer is the extra expense that comes with the holiday season.
Financial pressure can be managed by making a budget and sticking to it to relieve the stress of spending too much around the season, said Hopper.
“Budgets are extremely important and really trying to stick to that budget,” she said, adding gifts don’t always have to be a big purchase.
“A lot of times, people would rather have activities or experiences with you rather than some really big gift — they’d rather have that valuable time,” Hopper said.
Another big worry comes with seeing family members, said Hopper, noting boundaries are important when deciding on whether or not to attend a family gathering.
“It’s an individualized choice, so I think it goes back to planning ahead of time,” she said. “Is this a family gathering that you really want to go to, and you think that it would be valuable and joyful?”
The plan on how you may or may not deal with a particular issue at a family function can make a big difference in confronting the possible feelings that may arise.
“Planning ahead of time, making sure that you have boundaries if there’s a certain person that’s there that may cause you a lot of stress, or anxiety maybe you have a plan on how you deal with that person or how you ignore that person,” Hopper said. “And then you also maybe even know when it’s appropriate to exit and to leave that party.”
Changing seasons
Having difficulty during the winter is not always attributed to the season as some people find themselves struggling with Seasonal affective disorder, or SAD, a recurring form of depression during the fall and winter as the body responds to the changing seasons.
“It can be very common in January and especially in February and part of that is because we don’t get enough Vitamin D,” said Hopper. “It’s dark a lot and it’s cold. So, the holidays are done, so then in January, February, March it can be really difficult for people because it’s harder to get outside, it’s harder to get movement … we just may not have something to look forward to.”
Being alone during the holidays can be especially difficult, especially in a season focused on coming together. Hopper said while it isn’t as uncommon as people think, it's still possible and meaningful to find connection.
“If you’re going to be alone on the holidays, I think that maybe you can find connection in other ways, so maybe virtual calls, or sometimes there’s helpful social media groups,” she said. “Maybe even kind of starting your own traditions, so maybe that tradition is you do a special activity, or you have a special meal or you help at different charities.”
Hopper encouraged everyone to define what is best for them and what will make the holiday most meaningful for them — whether it's with family or doing something on their own this season.
In terms of knowing when to contact a mental health professional, Hopper suggested using websites like Mental Health America. Websites with resources can help establish the difference between normal holiday stress and something requiring professional help.
Crisis lifelines like the 988 or 211 crisis and resource lifelines also can help anyone stressing during the holiday season with depression, making ends meet or other concerns they may have.
