BILL KURTIS: From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME, the NPR news quiz. I'm Bill Kurtis. We're playing this week with Paula Poundstone, Faith Salie and Peter Grosz. And here again is your host at the Chase Bank Auditorium in downtown Chicago, Peter Sagal.
PETER SAGAL, HOST:
Thank you, Bill.
(CHEERING)
SAGAL: Thank you. Right now it is time for the WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME Bluff the Listener game. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to play our game on the air.
Hi, you are on WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME.
BRITTANY VASQUEZ: Hi. My name is Brittany.
SAGAL: Hey, Brittany. Where are you calling from?
VASQUEZ: I'm calling from Carrboro, N.C.
SAGAL: Carrboro - oh, that's, like - that's near Chapel Hill, right?
VASQUEZ: Right beside Chapel Hill.
SAGAL: And what do you do there?
VASQUEZ: I am a child and adolescent psychiatrist.
SAGAL: Oh, my God.
(LAUGHTER)
FAITH SALIE: You're doing the Lord's work.
SAGAL: You really are.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Welcome to the show, Brittany. You're going to play our game in which you must try to tell truth from fiction. What is the topic, Bill?
KURTIS: Family Feud.
SAGAL: You can't choose your family, which is why I was denied my application to be the fifth Kardashian sister.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: But that's also why families fight. Our panelists are going to tell you about a family rivalry that surfaced in a surprising way this week. Pick the one who's telling the truth, you'll win the voice of your choice on your voicemail. You ready to play?
VASQUEZ: I'm ready to play, sir.
SAGAL: All right. First, let's hear from Faith Salie.
SALIE: Over Thanksgiving, 35-year-old twin sisters Amanda Granger (ph) and Katie Tannenbaum (ph) were talking about their holiday plans when Amanda said to Katie, who recently converted to Judaism before marrying her husband earlier this year, it's such a shame you won't be able to decorate with anything fun now that you're Jewish. That's what Amanda said. But what Katie heard was game on.
(LAUGHTER)
SALIE: The sisters lived side by side in a Gainesville, Ga., cul de sac. And on December 1, Amanda laced her yard with Christmas lights and put a tree in the window. On December 2, Katie placed an eight-foot star of David with blazing blue lights beside the Tannenbaum mailbox. On December 3, Amanda arranged reindeer on her roof. On December 4, a massive gold menorah appeared on top of Katie's house. On the fifth day of Advent, Amanda strung lights on her roof that say, Jesus is the reason for the season.
(LAUGHTER)
SALIE: On the sixth, Katie's roof replied in flashing bulbs, Jesus was a little Jewish baby.
(LAUGHTER)
SALIE: The homeowners association has given up trying to control the holiday arms race and is now asking for donations from the hundreds of folks driving through the cul de sac every evening, where they find the sisters at the end of their driveways, Amanda giving away gingerbread crosses and Katie handing out steaming latkes.
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: An arms race between sisters in terms of their holiday decorations in Gainesville, Ga. Your next story of brotherly non-love comes from Peter Grosz.
PETER GROSZ: This sibling rivalry story has everything a great drama requires - intrigue, hidden cameras, illegal behavior, laboratory testing and, of course, deer repellent. Conservation officer Mike Wells of Newaygo County in Western Michigan received a claim this week of hunter harassment - which, contrary to popular belief, is not what's happening to Hunter Biden right now. It's...
(LAUGHTER)
GROSZ: It's when hunters ignore animals and go after each other. Authorities haven't released the names of the men involved, but the complainant - we'll call him brother number one - gave officer Wells photos taken from a hidden camera of the suspect, brother number two, spraying brother number one's hunting stand with an unknown substance. Officer Wells visited the site, took samples of the mysterious material, and bingo - it came back positive for every hunter's worst nightmare, deer repellent. So far, this was shaping up like a gripping episode of "CSI: Western Michigan."
(LAUGHTER)
GROSZ: Wells then confronted brother number two with the evidence, and he immediately admitted to everything. However, in another exciting plot twist, brother number two was also committing the crime - an actual misdemeanor - of using bait to attract deer to his own stand. This is like the equivalent of going to a bar to meet women, but you dab on some sophisticated French cologne, and you dump a bucket of axe body spray on your friend's head.
(LAUGHTER)
GROSZ: No word on whether or not this modern-day Cain and Abel have made up, but this is sure to be the most awkward Christmas they've ever had.
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: Two hunters in Michigan fighting with deer repellant to repel deer from each other's hunting grounds. Your last story of family fuss comes from Paula Poundstone.
PAULA POUNDSTONE: Twin brothers Abel and Terry Xiong (ph) enjoy a shared passion for breeding and showing Yorkshire terriers. Abel often travels for his work, and when he does so, his dogs, including his budding champion, Winnie (ph), have always bunked at Uncle Terry's. Terry, who competes with his promising Elton (ph), has raised and trained many a champion himself already - most famously, perhaps, Buttons (ph), Zsa Zsa (ph) and Son Of A (ph).
(LAUGHTER)
POUNDSTONE: Twins by reputation have enviably close relationships. But sometimes, after years of feeling interchangeable, there is also a deep-seated drive on the part of one or the other to differentiate themselves from their twin.
I feel terrible about this now, says Terry. But I did for a year or so train Abel's dog Winnie to display some negative behaviors that I secretly commanded during the AKC National Owner-Handled Series finals in Orlando, Fla. Terry must be a hell of a trainer, says presiding AKC judge Daisy Billington (ph), because as the dogs rounded the show circle, I turned to get my clipboard. That Winnie must have flown 10 feet to latch onto the back of my blazer, and I had to practically twerk to get her off.
(LAUGHTER)
POUNDSTONE: Winnie is a smart dog, says Terry in a voice with marvel, overcoming his regret, who he had never had a chance to rehearse in front of a crowd. So I wasn't sure that she really would spin and poop every time I sneezed. But...
(LAUGHTER)
POUNDSTONE: She sure did. Although Terry has apologized and paid for the judge's blazer, as well as reimbursing anyone who lost their hot dog to the dog, Abel doesn't sound ready to forgive. He's not sorry. He still hasn't told me what the signal is for Winnie to fire herself like a rocket into my stomach with varying degrees of accuracy.
SAGAL: All right.
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: One of these stories of a fraternal fracas was in the news this week. Was it, from Faith Salie, two sisters in Georgia have an escalating competition over holiday decorations; from Peter Grosz, two hunters in Michigan who resent each other, one is caught spraying deer repellent on the other's hunting stand; or, from Paula Poundstone, twin dog breeders, one who takes vengeance by training the other's dog to, well, misbehave? Which of these is the real story of sibling rivalry we found in the news?
VASQUEZ: You know, I'm going to go with the boys and their pee.
SAGAL: The boys and their - yes...
VASQUEZ: Pee.
SAGAL: ...Their substance. Yes, I understand.
VASQUEZ: The substance - the urine.
SAGAL: You are, of course, a psychologist of adolescents, so I guess...
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: ...That makes the most sense to you. All right. Well, to bring you the correct answer, we spoke to someone involved with the real story.
(SOUNDBITE OF ARCHIVED RECORDING)
MICHAEL WELLS: The brother was trying to cut the deer off, and he had sprayed a deterrent that scares deer from the area.
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: That was conservation officer Michael Wells with the Michigan Department of Natural Resources. He was the one who investigated and burst wide open the case of the sprayed deer repellant. Congratulations, Brittany. You got it right.
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: You've earned a point for Peter Grosz. You've won our prize, the voice of your choice on your voicemail. Thank you so much for playing with us today.
VASQUEZ: Thank you, sir.
SAGAL: Thank you. Take care, Brittany. Bye-bye.
POUNDSTONE: Thanks. Bye, Brittany.
(SOUNDBITE OF CHARLIE'S ANGELS' "FAMILY FEUD") Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.