Emory Easton knows what it means to be unwanted.
She grew up in an abusive home, raised by a mother who made no secret of her disdain for her young daughter. It wasn’t until Easton was 43 years old that she discovered why her mother treated her with such contempt.
Easton was never supposed to exist.
On her death bed, Easton’s mother confessed that she had tried to abort the pregnancy. At the time, abortion was illegal in Illinois, so Easton’s mother sought the procedure through back alley means. She was given an address and password through the friend of a friend. And when she showed at the appointed place, she was led unceremoniously to a filthy table where she experienced what she described as the worst pain and humiliation of her life. She was charged $200 and warned to never tell anyone where she’d been.
Two months later, Easton was born to a shocked and dismayed mother who had no idea the abortion had failed. Easton was three months premature and spent her entire childhood with a mother who clearly wished she’d never arrived at all.
Years after her mother’s confession and eventual death, Easton decided to claim her own narrative. She’s written a memoir, “Mother, Can You Hear Me Now,” that was published this week by Woodhall Press.
“I really needed to get it out,” Easton said of her decision to write the book. “I needed to stop blackening my soul.” If she continued on with the memories trapped inside her, Easton said, she feared she would never lead a good life.
She has a good life now. Easton lives in the small town of Dwight, an hour north of Bloomington-Normal, with her partner of 36 years, Marsha. Easton has children of her own, each of whom are loved and wanted.
Through her family and her writing, Easton said she’s managed to find the answers she needed. And she no longer torments herself with questions, such as “If your mother doesn’t love you, who does?”
