About 165 people attended the second All-White Remembrance Dinner for Jelani Day last Saturday, an annual event created to honor the 25-year-old Illinois State University graduate student who went missing two years ago and was later found dead.
The dinner served as both a celebration of life and a fundraiser for The Jelani Day Foundation, a nonprofit founded to connect families of color with resources that may help them if they find themselves in a similar situation to that of the Day family: Navigating a nightmare scenario with few answers and little guidance.
The Jelani Day Foundation also has added scholarships to its list of services. Carmen Bolden-Day, Jelani's mother, said the three financial gifts continue the legacy of her son, who was gifted in both academics and athletics. One $500 scholarships is available for a student at Danville High School, where he and his five siblings attended.
Two other $500 scholarships will be dedicated to undergraduate students at Alabama A&M University and a Black male graduate student pursuing speech pathology studies at ISU.
"We want to make sure that we can provide that help to another individual that has those same principles and qualities," Bolden-Day said in an interview. "As we continue to receive funding in the foundation, the hope is for those scholarships to grow as well."
In the years since her son's death, Bolden-Day has advocated for equity in missing persons reporting, attended the 60th anniversary March on Washington last August, and seen her son's name attached to new legislation aimed at preventing a repeat of what happened in the Day case: While Jelani Day's body was found on Sept. 4, 2021, his identity was not confirmed until weeks later, on Sept. 23.
The act requires medical examiners and coroners to contact the FBI if a body remains unidentified after 72 hours, at which point the FBI would work with the Illinois State Police.
In an interview with WGLT after Saturday's dinner, Bolden-Day said the work, while vitally important in maintaining her son's legacy, has been far from easy, as she and her family seek to help others in the midst of their ongoing pain.
This interview has been edited for length.
Bolden-Day: The foundation was formed due to me feeling that I needed to do something to be empowered, to help other individuals or families because I felt helpless. I wanted to see change in equity, to ensure that families of color could receive help if they're ever stuck in a traumatic situation, such as what I've had to endure. I can help be that linkage, that access to media or access to legal help... resources, those sorts of things — things that I had no clue [that] I needed during that time.
WGLT: Is there a ballpark number of how many people who have reached out to the foundation that have been in a similar situation?
Bolden-Day: I can tell you that I've had, since the conception of the foundation... about 50 families who have reached out to us. It is just staggering. It's really unbelievable. The disparity is just real. Again... it wasn't my goal or my focus to make this about race; I'm not a racist person. That's not what this was for. However, when you see the disparity — and it's blatant — there's nothing more that you can do except to address it. The 'missing white woman syndrome' is real. It exists. For some reason, the media is fascinated with missing white women, but they don't have that same fascination or same concern for missing Black males. I feel that I have to step up to make sure that they realize there are Black males out there that are valued by their family, that are valued by their community. And when they go missing, it's not because of a stereotype placed upon them.
WGLT: You mentioned that one of the reasons for starting the foundation and doing this work is to feel empowered. Have you found that feeling?
Bolden-Day: Honestly I don't. I don't feel more empowered. Sometimes I ask myself, 'Did I start this too early?' But this is one of the things that keeps me distracted. Sometimes the realization that Jelani is not here hits me really hard because it's still so fresh. This is my second year without my son and it has not been easy. Just a couple of weeks ago, I felt like Jelani was still alive and that I needed to go find him. And sometimes the work of looking at the investigative part of this overshadows the work that I'm doing to help with assistance — so sometimes I'm not even always available to help the families. I'm working on that. I have to work on having myself in a good space so that I'm able to provide this assistance. I do have help; they are trying their best to navigate through this as we learn things [about] providing assistance. But to answer your question, I don't yet feel empowered.
WGLT: How can people help — the foundation, the family? What are some things people can to do try to make a difference?
Bolden-Day: In order for me to be able to help and assist other families and to provide resources and assistance and services and point them in the right direction — or to even have the scholarships — we need money. So, we're always asking for donations. We're seeking partnerships. We're looking for new ways to create and help the foundation grow. So when I do put calls to action out there, I want people to help me. And when I talk about things like making phone calls to help advocate ... those are things [elated to] the investigation, but they're so intertwined with the foundation that I don't know how to separate the two, if that makes any sense.
WGLT: I think I understand. Because Jelani's situation is on the forefront of your mind, like how could it be separate?
Bolden-Day: I can't separate the two. I know that the foundation is an entity by itself. Jelani's investigation is another aspect of that. But at the same time, everything is about Jelani. It's not about me. It's not about anybody else. Everything is about Jelani and everything is about Jelani's purpose. The foundation is Jelani's purpose. While he was walking on this Earth among us, he had a purpose. Jelani was doing things with his life; he was going to be something great.
Now that he's not here, in his absence, I have to make sure that purpose is fulfilled.
